Top Tips for committing the Perfect Crime

Does crime pay?

Well that really depends on 2 things. What you get out of it and whether you get caught. Be honest, we’ve all thought about it from time to time. If only we could commit a crime and get away with it. I’m not talking about the violent stuff here, I can’t condone that in any way, but what about the ‘frauds’ and the ‘scams’, surely they aren’t as bad. After all, your not hurting anyone, are you? I’ll leave that for you to work out but if crime is for you, you need to know how to go about it.

 

The best reason to commit a crime – PROFIT

Why profit? Well, for starters, because you need motivation to commit a crime, a reason to break the law . There’s no point in committing a crime if your going to get nothing out of it. People commit crimes because they want money and once you realize that money is the best possible motivation, you need a victim. 

The Victim

A victim is anybody who suffers because of the crime you commit. The victim is the owner of whatever it is that you took. Now, the crucial thing is to pick your victim carefully. The victim doesn’t even need to be one person, it can be a group of people, a company or even a whole country (I’ll come to that later). The best victims are the ones that you don’t know, so don’t steal off friends and family.

The Crime

Once you have a victim you need to do some actual planning and decide what kind of perfect crime you want to commit. Think carefully because the type of crime you commit will have a bearing on the punishment you may or may not receive if you get caught. 

Accomplices’

If there’s anyone else in on the crime, keep them close to you at all times and make sure that they have got as much to lose as you.

What if you get caught?

Deny it and keep denying it until the evidence is so overwhelming that there is only one way out. Run? No, don’t be silly….Sing like a Canary… and let someone else take the fall.

Is there such thing as a perfect crime? One where you can steal from your victim yet even if you get caught there is no punishment, at worst you just offer to pay the money back to your victim. Let me think…I know…

                                                   BECOME AN MP AND CLAIM EXPENSES!!!!!

How to avoid internet scams

There is an epidemic sweeping the world and it’s not Swine Flu. Internet scamming is the latest big thing and it seems we have all either been caught out or know of someone who has. The World Wide Web (WWW) truly is a wonderful creation and allows us to communicate on levels never previously possible. If you have ever “googled” or “twittered” than you will realise just how easy it has become to get your message across to millions of people in the blink of an eye.

But the negative side to this is that “scammers” or “fraudsters” can also use the same tools to send their messages out to millions of unsuspecting and vulnerable targets. Before we get carried away here let’s not jump to the conclusion that everyone out there is trying to rip us off. There are plenty of legit businesses providing a great and honest service, but like anything in life we only tend to read about the bad ones. The crooks have always been there, but they are smarter now and the internet has made their ‘job’ a lot easier.

So how can you avoid being a victim of an internet scam? Unless you don’t buy anything online or in fact don’t use the internet at all, and that includes emails, then you will always be at risk but follow a few simple rules and the chances of being “scammed” will reduce dramatically.

• Never click on a website link contained in an email, especially from anyone asking you to verify financial information or passwords.
• Shop on trusted sites displaying site security information and contact details. If there is no address or telephone number keep away.
• Only make payment through approved methods such as Pay Pal or through the sites shopping cart. Don’t use Western Union or Wire Transfer to send money.
• If you don’t know the site, ALWAYS check them out first on Google. If there has been any problem in the past, someone will have posted an article about it.
• Never disclose any personal information until you are sure the site is secure and authentic.

I recently received an email myself from a Chinese electrical wholesaler offering to sell discounted, branded computer equipment and mobile phones. I have no idea where they got my email address from but after a quick bit of digging around, I found several people who had already been “ripped off” and sent money for items they either never received or were fakes. There are loads of websites who publish lists of scam firms, but as quick as one shuts down a new one will emerge. Best advice?…..

                                          If it sounds too good to be true it probably is!!

12 Yr Old Pupil Knifes Teacher

A boy of 12 knifed his teacher in the arm in front of his terrified classmates.

The pupil stormed out of the science lesson after a row, then stabbed the 28yr old teacher when she confronted him. Thank god, the teacher only suffered minor cuts to her elbow, and is now recovering at home, but the story could have been a different one. The boy, who is unnamed has been expelled and has been charged with GBH with intent and having an offensive weapon. But what will his punishment ultimately be? A stint in a young offenders institute, at our expense, whilst we try and rehabilitate him and get him to see the error of his ways. Bullshit!

What the hell was a 12yr old doing with a knife in the first place? I’ve no idea what background he comes from but I am sick of the same old excuses, ‘we can’t control our children, there is nothing we can do.’ The lad is 12 for christ sake, how hard is it to control a 12 yr old child. And we need to stop treating these vermin like children. The day they decide to walk out the front door with a knife (and I’m damn sure it isn’t to butter their toast at school) then they have stopped acting like children, so they should be punished like adults. They know what they are doing. 

A few years ago you would have read a story like this in pure disbelief, nowadays incidents such as this one barely get a second glance. This is the society we now live in, one of political correctness and tolerance, where there is no fear of punishment and no respect. But it has to change.

At the risk of sounding old, it wasn’t like this when I was a kid. I feared authority and I respected my elders. And now as a father of 3 young children, aged between 15 and 5, they are growing up the same way. Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn about the do gooders who try and tell us how we should bring up our kids, or a government who tells us we can’t discipline them if they step out of line, I am going to do it my way because they are my children, I am responsible for them and I have self respect!

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