Top Tips for committing the Perfect Crime
Does crime pay?
Well that really depends on 2 things. What you get out of it and whether you get caught. Be honest, we’ve all thought about it from time to time. If only we could commit a crime and get away with it. I’m not talking about the violent stuff here, I can’t condone that in any way, but what about the ‘frauds’ and the ‘scams’, surely they aren’t as bad. After all, your not hurting anyone, are you? I’ll leave that for you to work out but if crime is for you, you need to know how to go about it.
The best reason to commit a crime – PROFIT
Why profit? Well, for starters, because you need motivation to commit a crime, a reason to break the law . There’s no point in committing a crime if your going to get nothing out of it. People commit crimes because they want money and once you realize that money is the best possible motivation, you need a victim.
The Victim
A victim is anybody who suffers because of the crime you commit. The victim is the owner of whatever it is that you took. Now, the crucial thing is to pick your victim carefully. The victim doesn’t even need to be one person, it can be a group of people, a company or even a whole country (I’ll come to that later). The best victims are the ones that you don’t know, so don’t steal off friends and family.
The Crime
Once you have a victim you need to do some actual planning and decide what kind of perfect crime you want to commit. Think carefully because the type of crime you commit will have a bearing on the punishment you may or may not receive if you get caught.
Accomplices’
If there’s anyone else in on the crime, keep them close to you at all times and make sure that they have got as much to lose as you.
What if you get caught?
Deny it and keep denying it until the evidence is so overwhelming that there is only one way out. Run? No, don’t be silly….Sing like a Canary… and let someone else take the fall.
Is there such thing as a perfect crime? One where you can steal from your victim yet even if you get caught there is no punishment, at worst you just offer to pay the money back to your victim. Let me think…I know…
BECOME AN MP AND CLAIM EXPENSES!!!!!


